Attending Japanese wedding ceremonies, receptions, and nijikai

I was graciously invited to my first Japanese wedding ceremony, reception, and nijikai!

I asked a lot of questions about what to wear and how to behave, so I thought I would pass it along, as well as tell you, post-attendance, what I did right, wrong, and what I wish I had done. I was given these lovely overviews of the flow of events: http://expatsguide.jp/8302 and http://expatsguide.jp/8331

But, we have to prepare!

First, the dress. It's more like going to prom or New Years in the States. Or you can wear kimono. I opted for western dress because it would be a long day and I didn't want to worry about how I would feel in kimono. The dress should reflect your age and marital status (same as kimono). You can buy a dress (and accessories, more on that below), or you can rent them from a company.

I was lucky to be able to buy all my goods during the New Year sales. The dress was 27500 yen (ASP). New shoes, 11500 yen. Hose (and back up hose, in purse) 1000 yen a pop. I opted to buy over rent so that now I always have a wedding outfit (I chose a dress I would also wear in the States) and a NY outfit. I also wanted a pair of blue patent leather shoes to wear with my jeans this spring, and since I chose a blue dress, the shoes were a double-purpose purchase. (I also hate cheap, uncomfortable shoes.)

You will also need some sort of shawl, hairpiece, necklace, earrings, and a purse big enough to fit your essentials plus the money envelope you will give as a gift. Examples are on the website above. I found that ordering accessories on Amazon was FAR cheaper than buying them at the store. I got the hair accessories (usually a flower clip, but I went with a lacquer and rhinestone barrette, 1000 yen) and jewelry (pearl earrings and necklace are where it's at for this type of event, combined, 4000 yen) at After the Boom, locations in both the Cube (under Kyoto station) and on Shijo. I bought the Shawl for 1899 yen and purse 1600 (both, amazon). Again, I chose to buy my accessories to wear again (probably only in Japan or at NY, since they are too prom-like to wear in the States) and, I have young nieces who will love to play dress up with them.

I was given this website as a guide for gifting money and selecting the correct envelope. In brief, singles give 30000 in an envelope with a golden bow. This is handed over at the registration table. The nijikai has a fee for attendance, this is also given at the registration table (no envelope is necessary).

There you have it!